tôt s'élever... || early to rise...

Yesterday morning, I saw the sun rise for the first time in my life. It took 19 years, but it happened. At least one good thing has come of exams...

Actually, I can't argue that these nightly study sessions haven't brought good things. For starters, I've learned what I really can accomplish once I get the mindset.

I have never considered myself studious. You know, I made the grades, but I always kinda half-assed it. I decided (for obvious reasons) that I can't do that anymore. So I've become super-studious. This means camping out at the library from 8pm - 8am to study.

My sleep cycle has become completely inverted. I am now nocturnal-- sleeping by day, studying by night. (I never could make myself study during the day.)

So, I wake up around 5pm and go eat food, then head to the library to hit the books.

More than anything, it feels good. I like the feeling of knowing that I've spent so much time and effort on said task, and therefore, regardless of outcome, I know that I did everything in my power. And in reality, if I put this much effort into it, it should turn out pretty well.

I have to laugh because I spent all of last night and through early yesterday morning (sorry, I'm getting my "yesterdays" confused, because techinically it's "tomorrow" now... being 5am and all) Anyways, I spent from 8pm- 7am the other night/day working on just sociology. And when I sat down earlier tonight to start comitting it to memory (yes, that's correct -- I spent that whole previous session just re-reading the text and taking notes)... well, I realized that by putting so much effort into it all initally, I had actually already begun to commit it all to memory. I had expected to have to sit there and try to recall things, but astoundingly, it all just came to me. I was so excited because I knew this stuff... like, really knew this stuff.

And to me, that was just the most awesome feeling. Kind of like watching the sun come up yesterday morning. I can't help but think that with that sun rise, a new era of myself has arisen as well. And just like the actual sunrise, I just regret that I hadn't seen it until now...