« J'aime la magie » || "I love magic"

I saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix last night. I was pretty well pleased. I felt that this installment rang true to its book bound counterpart better than any of the others. Granted, I was upset going into the movie knowing that all the Quidditch (including Ron's debut as Keeper) had been cut from the film altogether, as well as the usual inconsistencies due to time allotment. But overall, it didn't detract from the storyline. I was very pleased however that the film retained some minor aspects that just gave the books their spark. For instance, I loved Hermione's line from the book regarding Ron having "the emotional range of a teaspoon". I was delighted when Emma Watson quipped the line in the film. There were numerous other instances of book-to-film direct adaptation. For me, these small trifles were what made the movie legit. So all in all, I was happy with the finished product.

Another honorable mention would be the soundtrack. It got horrible reviews on amazon.com, yet during the film, I recall being really drawn in by several of the scores. After obtaining a copy for myself, despite warnings from critics, I must confess that I don't quite know where they're coming from. The music is once again a different style, as it is once again a different composer. While the critics do lament that OotP composer Nicholas Hooper is a small improvement over Patrick Doyle's work for GoF, they nonetheless are slanderous in their critiques. Personally, I found Doyle's work a great degree different from John Williams obviously. But "Harry In Winter" spoke to me in a way that a musical score had not in a great while, thus compelling me to investigate the rest of the album. And now I listen to it frequently. Granted, it took a little more time to grow on me than Williams' scores ("Window to the Past" was a instant soul-seeker)
but in time, I came to enjoy it as well. Similarly, Hooper's music requires a little tweaking of the ear. But while Doyle's work had a flare of its own that reached beyond the gates of Hogwarts at times, Hooper's scores just sound like Harry Potter. There's no denying that. True, it takes a trained ear to appreciate the deep, more quieter, less abrasive style, but when you do, it fits the darker theme of the movie just fine.

Anywho, ow I eagerly (like so many others) await the release of the book. I plan to barricade myself in my room for a day and read. While it's sad than the series has come to an end, I can't help but feel a little relief. It's a weird personal quirk I have, but when I something that I really care about or love suddenly becomes a "craze" or the "it" thing (which has happened so many times) it gets to me. Suddenly the world is filled with lunatic people who claim to be "the biggest fans" and obsessed and stuff. Which is fine, but what I hate is that it somehow manifests this culture... that I can't really explain. It just annoys me. It's because I care too much about it to see it become that way.

In the meantime, I'm browsing every gaming outlet site for competitive prices on the OotP game for PS2. Although also receiving some harsh criticism, I've heard a lot of good things about it as well. I'm not one to take advice from the critics anyways. I expect I'll have my copy of the came before the weekend runs out...

Quelle chance! || What luck!

I still can't believe it. Everything that I've dreamed of is happening.

2 months ago while up at school, I fell in love with the Lion King Musical soundtrack. It got me through finals week. From there, it grew to something more.

The music moved me in a way I cannot explain. I decided from then on that I had to see this show for myself. Some day. Somehow.

That day, that how... has come. Two weeks after my discovery of this amazing masterpiece, I stumbled across a billboard. The Lion King Musical was coming to St. Louis!

It's fate. Or maybe just luck. I don't know-- I don't believe in either. But I don't care. The point is, this is my chance.

I've obsessed over it since then, off and on. I never thought my dad would approve of me spending so much money on such a thing. I was afraid he wouldn't understand. In fact, if I didn't have such a good paying job, he probably wouldn't have been so "understanding."

So it was on baited breath this evening that I asked him if I could use my credit card to order tickets. To my astonishment, no objection whatsoever.

After much leaping with joy, I purchased my tickets tonight. I'm so happy! I'm finally getting to see the remarkable show that has captivated millions... just as the movie and music have captured my heart and imagination.

I thought I was lucky enough with scoring tickets to TLK... but it gets better. Unbelievably better.

I've been toying a lot lately with the idea of studying abroad. In France. I never thought my parents would approve. My dad especially. I thought I'd casually throw it out as "something that might be cool one day" during the ride home from dinner.

Then my dad... was okay with it. Not just "okay", but all for it if I find a program that's as reasonable as my regular tuition (which isn't that uncommon). I was astonished. I still am. Part of me thinks I'm going to wake up tomorrow and none of today will really have happened.

But Oh My God! I might actually be going to France! Something I've wanted to do my whole life. Something I never thought would actually happen... might actually happen.

Like the Lion King, but a much larger scale.

Maybe I should press my dad more often. Who knows?

le couche-tard || night owl

Sorry, I haven't blogged in awhile. I've been busy... doing absolutely nothing. In all honesty, I haven't done anything exciting. I've just been pre-occupied with my own hobbies, I suppose. My website is back up and running again, as I've been devoting a lot of my freetime to tinkering with that. I've missed it. Summer gives me plenty of freetime, and the website gives me plenty to do with that freetime that would otherwise be spent bored. Not to mention, I've freed up even more time now that I've finished season 1 of Boston Legal. I owe a lot to that show. It makes me complete. And at the same time, I crave for more. I suppose that's life though... are we ever really satisfied? We can say we are, but there's always something...

Anways, I've finally had a breakthrough with job hunting I think. I had a series of interviews the other day with Wal-mart (glorious, no?) that went extraordinarily well. I have to go through their drug testing procedure tomorrow, which I don't foresee as being much of a deterrent. Then hopefully, I'll be working as of next week. It's actually a pretty sweet deal. Full-time position as an overnight cashier. Now I know those words scare people off, but let's think about this: 1. how many people come through at wal-mart at 3am? there's a reason they only have one register open. = easy pickins for me 2. hours that scare people off = more pay. we're talking 8.15 an hour. not bad. 3. that's a lot of hours + that's a lot of money = well, you do the math. it never was my favorite thing.

So all in all, things are taking a turn for the better. At that rate, my dad even said I'd make enough in a month's time to be able to quit early and have the last half of my summer off, but I've decided to see how this all plays out before I make any calls. Besides, the extra money wouldn't hurt, and there are a lot of things I need/want right now.

The hilarity of the situation is that I'm up until at least 2am and sometimes as much as 4am every night anyways. With this job, I'm getting paid to be up and about when I normally am anyways.

ces cadeaux || these gifts

I hate birthdays. Just mine. Everyone else's is fine. Well, ok, I don't absolutely loathe them, I suppose. I just don't like to make a big deal of them. I don't like to make a big deal out of myself.

However, I actually found myself looking forward to this one. My family was out of town all weekend and it would be just myself and my two best friends romping about and having free run of my house. What more can you ask for? Well, other things, but they would all just be icing on the no-pun-intended-cake. (Really, I didn't plan that out.)

So we kicked things off on Friday by seeing the news Pirates of the Caribbean movie. The movie was alright; I must admit, I was a tad disappointed. I had expected them to do more with the whole merging of the pirate lords deal, which really didn't amount to much. And I'm sorry, but the ending for Will and Elizabeth... I won't give anything away, but seriously? Seriously? I think my favorite was actually Barbosa. Sparrow was alright; but seemed off from his older self. Anyways, not a bad movie, but the first one still remains a far favorite.

But the best part of the movie was the viewing experience itself. My friends and I decided to sacrifice ourselves to our crappy cinema here in town in order to save a buck or two on tickets from the nicer theatre (not to mention, gas money) since it's in St. Louis. The screening room we were in was so hot, and since it had been cold and rainy all day long, I was wearing more than enough layers (as I always do). Halfway through the movie, Nick turns me and says, "Did you feel that?" I was about to answer "no" when I felt something wet smack against my neck. I instantly whirled around, expecting to see some jr. high punk with a straw full of spit wads. Nothing. I turned around only to have it happen twice more. A few minutes later, Nick and I deduced the source of our problem-- the ceiling was dripping directly onto the back of my seat and it was splashing on us. We lost it. I mean, we busted out into silent laughter. Heather, on my other side kept asking what was so funny, but we were too far gone to even answer. A minute or two later she whirls on me and whispers loudly, "Did you just spit on me?", assuming that was the reason why were laughing. This in turn, only suceeded in Nick and I laughing even harder. So I spent the movie getting the immersion experience; it rained on the screen... it rained on my head. But it was worth it, because it was rather hysterical when Heather offered me her umbrella during the movie. The looks I would have gotten...

On Sunday, we went to the zoo. Rain was in the forecast all day, so we were caught from time to time by showers. Still, it was enjoyable. At one point, a bunch of us had gathered under a pavillion to avoid the rain. As did a peacock. It snuck up on this lady and freaked the hell out of her. But it was great. I'd never been so close to a wild peacock before.

Afterwards, we dined at the Pasta House-- my favorite restaurant in the world! Really. Their lasagna is my love. I like eating there because it makes me feel classier than a McDonald's-eating poor college student. And I love lasagna.

The food was good, the waiters cute, and there was "the incident" as it will later come to be known. The three of us were deep in conversation about non-existant dreams of starring in a direct-to-video movie when I noticed the manager standing a foot away from the table watching us. He just kept staring and Heather kept talking. Nick noticed a man standing an inch away on him and hunched close to his salmon fillet. Our conversation hit a lull and the man pardoned himself for the "interuption" and asked how the food was. Of course, I had no idea what he had actually said... I just heard "mmfhgjdod". I'm thankful Heather understood him and gave an answer or else the awkward would have really been prolonged. Nick had no idea what the man had said either, and he was probably closest. After he left, we all had a nice good laugh. I was still chuckling 10 minutes later after everyone had moved on. It was just funny because it was so awkward and none of us knew what was going on.

The best part was the drive home. I'd been driving all day and was getting rather tired of the road, especially after having gotten horribly lost while trying to get back from the zoo and winding up in a completely different city. We had actually reached our own city limits around 9:30pm and were almost back into town. I was just driving as normal and noticed a car in the turn lane that wanted to turn in front of us in order to get to a neighborhood across our two lanes. I watched it as we got a bit closer, half-expecting them to pull out in front of me. I was also half-wondering if there had always been a turn line up this far. That's when I realized it. The car wasn't in a turn lane.... it was in our lane. Coming directly at us.

Instinct kicked in (I'm not sure, but I think it was before the shouting-- I know Heather screamed after I swerved the car over). Fortunately, there was no one in the other lane and I was able to act quick. But the hilarious part is the car kept going. I don't know if they even realized they were on the wrong side. Checking my mirror and seeing several cars coming behind us, I wished I had laid on the horn, but my thoughts had been focused on getting us out of the way. I don't how far the car kept going until they realized their rather critical error.

So it was a weekend of excitement to be sure. I've toasted to a grand new year with a bottle of Welch's red sparking grape juice-- hey, it makes me feel special. 2 more years....

So here's to another year of great times, great people, and God only knows what else. Because it's these things, these little "gifits" that make each year worth living to see the next one.

le raisonnement de la raison || the reasoning of the reason

I have never believed in luck, chance, fortune. Given my "luck" if you will, I shouldn't be expected to either. However, it is not through contempt that I harbor ill feelings against luck. In fact, it's not contemptuous at all. I just simply don't believe in it.

To be precise, I suppose more than luck, it's actually coincidence that I have no faith in. You see, it has always been my philosophy-- no, more than that really-- my whole mentaility, that never happens by chance or accident.

Now, I don't put stock in "fate" or "pre-determined actions" or anything like that, which sounds contradictary I realize. But that's not to say I don't believe in destiny. My take on that is that we are not fated to one thing or another without a choice, but rather that we all have a purpose or intended path that we are capable of taking upon ourselves, and the decision to do so lies within each of us. Therefore, even destiny lies within our ability and right to choose.

And as it has been said, it our choices, far more than our abilities, that make us who we are. Or will be. As long as we have that choice, even fate doesn't stand a chance against us.

It has always been my opinion-- at least for as long as I've been able-minded enough to have opinions on such matters (for me, the young age of 12 or so)-- that everything happens for a reason. There is no chance, no mere coincedence. These things were meant to happen, for reasons that we cannot always understand, and some of which we never will, and perhaps will never be meant to. But there is a reason for it all.

le weekend planifie || weekend plans

I can't wait for the weekend. This week is dragging so far... and it's only been Monday. I didn't even get up until 1 o'clock, but it still felt endless. Not bad-endless... just like, "I wish it were Wednesday or Thursday" kind of endless. See, my parents have their annual Memorial Day Weekend camping trip this weekend. Which means, I get the house to myself... for not only two and a half days, but more like 3 and a half days. (Thank you, war veterans-- with all due respect, of course.) Monday also happens to be -- by a stroke of... something-- a birthday. So I get to be home alone for an extended weekend of which my birthday is a part of. Totally sweet.

Friday night, my two best friends and I are planning on seeing Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, which looks totally sweet. I saw the preview last week when we saw Spiderman 3 and I decided then and there that this would be a great addition to our fun-filled weekend.

Sunday, we're going to the St. Louis Zoo, which I am most excited about. I love penguins. I love the zoo. And it'll be another great opportunity for photos.

That's all I've got planned really so far, but that's off to a great start for us, the people who never have anything planned in advance. I'm making sure not to waste this weekend of opportunities though.

I'm hoping for a great weekend. And a few opportunities to come. If not this weekend, I can wait. I've be waiting for awhile.

Je ne peux pas le croire ! || I can't believe my luck!

So, my friends and I were exploring a corner of downtown St. Louis last night, as we tend to do with ourselves when we get bored. Heather discovered a coffee shop she wanted to try (it was alright-- we could've done better, I think) Nonetheless, it was cool to out on the patio. Afterwards, we explored the area a bit, it being one of the nicer parts of the city.

Anyways, point of my story... on the way home, while defying death while merging into the required lanes and battling fellow commuters for rights to exit ramps, I saw it... a billboard proclaiming the triumphant return of 7-time Tony Award winner The Lion King Musical, coming to the St. Louis Fox Theatre in June.

Now, had I been the one driving, I would have veered off the ramp in excitement. Being a passenger, I merely started shouting and jumping up and down in my seat, squealing with delight.

This is crazy, because not two weeks ago, during finals week, I had downloaded the Lion King Original Cast Recording soudntrack. It has been on non-stop repeat on my iPod ever since (for those of you who have been reading my blog regularly thus far, you've seen the recently listened to tracks in the left panel-- you know what I'm talking about.) From then on, I decided that I MUST see this show, if it ever came my way.

And now, through some strange twist of fate... it IS! I can't believe my luck! Seriously, I just keep sitting here in complete and utter disbelief. And obsession. Oh yes, obsession.

I am such a huge Lion King fan, for one. I own all the movies, which I still watch several times each year. And the soundtracks are to die for. The musical soundtrack is just amazing, because most of the songs from the movies are taken from the stage.

I'm going to convince my parents to let me get tickets and go. I CAN'T miss this opportunity that I have been waiting for for four years!


I just can't wait... to see the Lion King Musical!

un messager étrange || a strange messenger

I was on one of my usual music binges, this week's theme has been classic video game soundtracks. While filtering through memories of the glory days of Starfox 64 and Ocarana of Time, I also came across quite a few other rare treasures. The Pokemon movies-- stop laughing!-- had amazing soundtracks! Even when I was younger, watching them, I would always wish I had the music and could listen to it whenever I wanted. So today when the Pokemon the Movie 2000 soundtrack popped up on the list, I was like, "OMG! I remember that! This song! I remember loving this song!" It really does have surprisingly beautiful composition work for a kid's movie. And apart from being wonderfully written and truly inspiring, it reminds me of those days when anything was possible, no adventure too great to be undertaken, and that there was intrigue in the smallest of things.

I know it's weird, but... I guess I never expected a kids television series (and its music) to make me realize something that I've forgotten as of late. As we grow older and get caught up in more and more of life's daily happenings, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and powerless. But as a child, of all things, I felt like I was more in control of myself, my life... then, more than anytime else. Who knew...

Well, I did. When I was a kid. I always knew things would turn out okay in the end. I worry too much these days, about the future, about school, about... finding someone... I worry about things that I have no power over. But I do have the ability to know that things are going to be alright... somehow, someday... it'll work out. It always has. I just need to believe that again.

And... thanks to... dare I say it, a long walk on a gorgeous day while listening to music from a movie about a boy and pikachu (is this really as insane as this sounds?.... okay, yes, yes it is)
But you know, I feel the most sane right now... because I'm not going to worry anymore.

l'été de possibilités interminables || summer of endless possibilities

Well, I've been home for just about 24 hours now. It still kind of feels like any weekend I would come from college (which after Christmas, I was only able to do once). It still feels like I have to go back. A typical weekend: come home Friday afternoon, stay through Sunday evening, drive back. So, time allotted, if this were a typical weekend, this would put me at Saturday afternoon. But this time, 24 hours from now, I won't be packing up my things and preparing to head back up north. Not 48 hours from now... not even a month, the longest stretch I had been home. Even towards the last few lingering days of Christmas Break, I yearned to go back to school. But I won't be going back for three months. That's a long time... as with anything, from the beginning it seems endless... but it's not. Those three months will come to and end, as all things tend to do. But the things that can happen in three month's times... those, in themselves, can be endless.

I've got some plans for this summer. Three months isn't a whole lot of time, when weighted down with trips, work, and everything I want to do. But it's enough to make it happen. After all, I've worked with less before...

la fin, si bientôt || the end, so soon

I can't believe it. My first year of college has come to an end. I don't know the where the year has gone. Heh, come to think of it, where have the last ten gone? When I think ahead to three years from now... well, it's a scary thought. I don't know for certain where I'll be. I'm excited... nervous, a little anxious, naturally... but it's a good feeling, I think. I'm in a good place. That I can be certain of.

This place... this... what I've found. There aren't words for it, not really. Not that could so justice anyways. And when I'm at a loss for words, then, you know it's gotta be something incredible. And it is.

I sit here at 3:12am at my computer. I look around this 15'5" x 10'2" space that has served as "home" for the past nine months. Wow... nine months. I never thought something could sound like such a long time and such a short time... at the same time. By this time tomorrow, I'll be here for a final few hours, maybe sleeping, maybe sitting right here again, who knows really... before I head back home for three months.

This week has had a lot of mixed emotions. I blame final exams. I spent all week in the library from 8pm-7am studying. That'll get to you after awhile. The past two days it really got to me. By Wednesday at 5am I was having a mid-life crisis at age 18... yeah, not cool, I know. But it's all ok now. I just needed to relieve some stress, some anxieties. When I came home from the library at 5am yesterday morning after studying, I felt it. That familiar surge of excitement at what lies ahead, knowing that I've come so far. And there's still so much more to go... but if I survive this, then, surely I can handle what lies ahead?

Last week, I didn't want to go back home. It's so boring back there, and I like my freedom here. And... I love the people here. Don't get me wrong, I love the people back home... I just... feel like I'm missing out on so much this summer by not being here. Halfway through this week, I was driven near insanity by school and was pleading to go home early. But that passed.... and now, I'm not wanting to leave again. This place has done so much for me and leaving it is like leaving a piece of me. And for those I've met who are leaving, to go on to bigger better things... they have left a piece of themselves with me. And I will continue to cherish that for the rest of my life.

So, as I spend my final day here tomorrow, saying my goodbyes for the summer... I will cherish every moment. Because these moments go by so fast... and if you don't savor every minute of it, you'll miss out. And what a great thing I would be missing out on if I did.

To the people I have formed a bond with this year, I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors, and although I haven't always said it, I love you guys and will miss you greatly. Congratulations... and thank you.

à mi-chemin là-bas || halfway there

It is now Wednesday. I'm ignoring the fact that I've stayed up until 4am and that it feels like Tuesday night stay, because just knowing that is Wednesday makes me feel oh so much better. Well, I don't know about so much better... considering I'm not feeling that great.
I have no exams today (Wednesday) so rather than spend all of Tuesday night/ Wednesday morning studying, I decided that I needed to take a night off. I'll probably end up regretting this later tonight when I crack down on studying. I plan on sleeping for most of the day so that I can stay up late tonight and study, then sleep most of Thursday until the afternoon when my exam is.
Yeah... it's a very screwed up schedule, I realize. But the problem is, like tonight, I can't revert back. I collapsed into sleep briefly around 8:30pm and slept until about 11:00ish, but I couldn't fall back asleep. It's so damn hot in my room; there's no air conditioning right now for some reason and the fan is gone, so there's no air circulation, which just agitates my allergies, which makes it hard to breathe, which naturally makes it hard to sleep.
So, I've been sitting up for a few hours, not studying like I probably should have been, but rather, watching Heroes episodes online. I had watched the first episode and haven't been able to shake it since. So I thought, hell, why not. And now, six episodes later, I had to pry myself away from watchng a seventh and thus being up all morning. I'm addicted now.
But at least that'll give me something to do Friday night. Nick is leaving Friday for home, but my parents can't make it up here until Saturday. So, it's just me and my dorm, alone. I don't mind being alone. I just wish I still had a tv so I could watch tv, movies, or play my playstation. Alas, 'tis not so. I'm considering take a stroll downtown that night and seeing my jazz professor (and since then, friend of mine) perform before I go home for summer. The only thing holding me back is that I kinda feel like a loser going out alone on a Friday night.
I wish it wasn't hot, and 4:30 in the morning. I would take my iPod and go for a walk, but it isn't really all that safe to do that. Not to mention, I'm actually starting to feel tired and its giving me a headache. Wouldn't be too cool for me to pass out on a sidewalk somewhere.
Nah, I suppose I'll head to bed. Two more days of sleep deprivation for a good cause, and then two days of boredom and being alone, the home. Good times, good times...

tôt s'élever... || early to rise...

Yesterday morning, I saw the sun rise for the first time in my life. It took 19 years, but it happened. At least one good thing has come of exams...

Actually, I can't argue that these nightly study sessions haven't brought good things. For starters, I've learned what I really can accomplish once I get the mindset.

I have never considered myself studious. You know, I made the grades, but I always kinda half-assed it. I decided (for obvious reasons) that I can't do that anymore. So I've become super-studious. This means camping out at the library from 8pm - 8am to study.

My sleep cycle has become completely inverted. I am now nocturnal-- sleeping by day, studying by night. (I never could make myself study during the day.)

So, I wake up around 5pm and go eat food, then head to the library to hit the books.

More than anything, it feels good. I like the feeling of knowing that I've spent so much time and effort on said task, and therefore, regardless of outcome, I know that I did everything in my power. And in reality, if I put this much effort into it, it should turn out pretty well.

I have to laugh because I spent all of last night and through early yesterday morning (sorry, I'm getting my "yesterdays" confused, because techinically it's "tomorrow" now... being 5am and all) Anyways, I spent from 8pm- 7am the other night/day working on just sociology. And when I sat down earlier tonight to start comitting it to memory (yes, that's correct -- I spent that whole previous session just re-reading the text and taking notes)... well, I realized that by putting so much effort into it all initally, I had actually already begun to commit it all to memory. I had expected to have to sit there and try to recall things, but astoundingly, it all just came to me. I was so excited because I knew this stuff... like, really knew this stuff.

And to me, that was just the most awesome feeling. Kind of like watching the sun come up yesterday morning. I can't help but think that with that sun rise, a new era of myself has arisen as well. And just like the actual sunrise, I just regret that I hadn't seen it until now...

Nouveau le président élu ! || New President Elect!

Yesterday, France received their new president elect, Nicolas Sarkozy. (Get the whole scoop here!) It was reportedly a very tight race, and a very intriguing one at that.
A deafted Socialist Party has seen its third consecutive presidential defeat, this time with their first woman candidate, Segolene Royal. I commend her on her ability to have such a succesful campaign, weighing in almost half of the votes, at 47% herself! That is truly outstanding.
My congrats go to M. Sarkozy, with whom I hope we will form a tight bond with in an effort to strengthen the historic friendship between the United States and France.
I commend him for his announcement that if the United States wishes to remain strong friends, the U.S. must help take the initiate in climate control. The United States needs to do something about the devestation that has befallen our environment, which often gets swept under the political rug amidst issues of national security, taxes, and health care (all of which are important, nonetheless). Of course, I don't forsee the U.S. instantly dropping all these issues and rushing to put a band-aid on all of our trees, but I can hope that some change will come of this.
Also, I hope that Sarkozy will be able to unite France under his reign as president, despite the initial opposition. Before they can create better foreign relations, they must achieve a strong, united infrastructure.
So once again, I extend my congratulations to M. Sarkozy. Les frères dans les bras !

faire les degrés || to make the grades

Ugh... it's been a long week, and it's going to get rougher. Yep, that's that time. End of the semester = final exams, which = sleep deprivation, stress-induced cardiac arrest, and making the library your permenant residence for the next week.
Actually, thus far I think I am holding up pretty well. I've already got one exam out of the way -- l'examen du français. I actually wasn't going to sweat this one too much-- I've gotten good grades on almost all of my tests... the last couple were decent. I just knew I had to hit that material harder. So, I did. I opted to came in to class for review sessions all week and I stayed up until 2:30 am this morning, working for three and a half hours on a comprehensive practice exam compiled of questions from previous exams. Heh, I actually didn't end up using much it that much, because by that point in time, I was so out of it that I couldn't think straight to do the practice test. Ha, ah well. I'm glad I put all the time into it though. The exam was actually much easier than I had anticipated, so I was more than prepared for most of the material. Here's to hoping!
That leaves... four more. Three of them are on Tuesday. It sucks to have three exams on one day like that, but at the same time, I'll get them all out of the way early on, leaving me a day just to focus on Communication Theory. Now that one is going to suck, because not only are Jodi's test are ridiclous, but Josh, Branden, and I are forunate enough to be taking three exams that day. There's the final, and then two unit tests that we have to make up from when we were at Nationals. So, three exams... back to back to back... it's gonna be fun. I'd like to think that if I could convince Jodi that triple exam slam is harboring on Cultivation Theory and will thus result in aggressive behavior from us if we are forced to take them all that she would let us off...
yeah... I don't buy it either. I tried.
So, I've got this whole weekend now... to... study! Yeah! Nick and are going to have a biology studying party tonight. I know, you're so jealous, right? Ha, happy cinco de mayo to you, too! But really, it's necessary. That class is the most ridiculous thing I have ever had the misfortune to be apart of. I'm not even gonna get started on it, because my arm is already twitching enough from stress... and has been since Thursday. Heh, heh...
Well, I'm off to Chic-Fil-A to score some nuggets and waffle fries before hitting the books. Nick and I are gonna grab dinner somewhere as a lame make-up for his birthday yesterday-- we didn't do anything exciting-- oh wait! We hunted for leaves on the quad to mail home to my brother for his project. Yeah, that was rockin' awesome. And that's all I got.

beaucoup de travail et un morceau de chance || a lot of work and a bit of luck

So I had this paper for my sociology class that was due today. It was VERY detailed, argumentative, analytical type of paper-- which is great. I love argumentation and anaylsis. But what sucked is we had to cite specific things from the texts used in the course. Wonderful idea, but I'm just curious as to how many students had enough insight to say themselves while reading Wallerstein's World-System's Anaylsis, "Hmmm... that's interesting. I should stick a post-it note here in case I ever need to write a paper using this exact point in an argument defending why World-Systems Theory offers a better perspective on global poverty than Modernization Theory. Yes, I shall do that now." I feel especially for any poor soul who neglected to read the book at all and merely relied on lectures for all their information. *cough cough* Actually, I skimmed Wallerstein's book and was able to have a complete understanding of his argument just based on lecture. It's weird but that class has come naturally to me. Of all things, honestly. Why couldn't math have been my gift? Something of actual use... don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed this class. It was actually my favorite, next to French and Communication Theory (yeah, yeah, save it). So this paper is worth a considerable amount of our grade, and in retrospect, it devoured a considerable amount of my time. To be precise, I spent a little over seven hours (that's right) working on it. No, I'm not making that up. I wish I were. I want those seven hours of my life back...
Nah, that's alright though. I'd like to think that I would have spent all that time preparing for my French oral exam that was this morning, but knowing myself so well, I would have divided that time (rather unequally) between French and Final Fantasy. Heh, heh...
I think the French oral exam went fairly well though. At least, much better than last time, as my partner agreed. I had gotten up really early so that I could go to the library to print out my collosal paper, and afterwards, I did some last-minute cramming of vocabulary and grammar. Our professor said he did a good job, so that works for me. Although I felt retarded when I couldn't spit out the conjugated form of jouer ("to play") for the longest time. Eh, c'est la vie!
Now, my priorities are really on the final exam this Saturday. All written, with a bit of listening comprehension -- as I found out this morning, much to my dismay. Listening sections are by far the hardest parts of foreign language tests. It all comes at you so fast. With Spanish it was one thing, but I've learned that it's 10x more difficult to comprehend spoken French. For one thing, half of the tenses (depsite being different pronouns) are pronounced the same, making it difficult to determine who the subject of the sentence is. That, and the last half of nearly every French word just goes unpronounced. I mean, how the hell do they get "grossis" (a rough English pronunciation-- think of "gross", only with a slight "sees" sound on the end) out of the word "grossissent" (the actual French word)? I mean, clearly there are like five more letters on that word, but for some odd reason the French decided they weren't going to actually pronounce those. Alright, fine, that's your call. But imagine how much ink the French would save if they only wrote down letters that they actually deemed necessary!
But I do love the language, despite its estranged means of grammar. J'adore le français! I just hope I still "j'adoring" it after "ce week-end."

l'aide blesse || help hurts

They say that helping people makes you feel good. Well, what about those times when helping people actually hurts more than anything? I mean, to say that help always comes easy would be lying. It takes a lot out of a person to extend themselves into someone else's hostile environment... it involves making themself surprisingly vulnerable, sometimes just as much as so as the person seeking help might be.
I assume most of the pain comes from not being able to help at all. Being helpless, watching those you care for suffer and there is not a thing you can do about it. I suppose that makes sense though when one thinks on it. Anything wound that hurts that bad probably can't be solved with a band-aid solution. Why is this any different?
Kinda makes one wish they had gone to med school... metaphorically of course. I'd consider trading a journalism degree and political science degree for a degree in helping people.

recommençant || beginning anew

Hey friends,
I am so excited about the launch of my brand new blog. I've had so many in the past (many of which have fallen by the wayside, but rest assured, I have full confidence in this one. I mean, for starters, isn't the layout just fab? Yeah, you know it's très awesome when I use a word like "fab" to endorse it...
So, why the new blog, you ask? Simple. My first year here at Illinois State is coming to an end soon and I have just learned so much-- about life, about friends, about ethics, about the lack of ethics amongst college students, about how you shouldn't attempt to harness squirrel energy... see? Lots of good stuff. And well, being the responsible citizen that I am, I merely want to share my experience with you-- the good and the bad, the norms and the not-so norms, the truths and the Truths, the legal and... well, legal (sorry, I'm not much of risk-taker so I can't help you in that area). But for everyone else, I will offer my sincere opinions on what really matters... to me anyways. But given time, I think you'll see that I have my mind in the right place. No, I don't mean the gutter... stupid gits.
As I'm approaching the last week and a half of the semester, I'll be busy studying for my final exams and preparing to move back home to my docile, humble abode down south. But in the meantime, you can expect rambling and waxing philosophical as I gradually start to lose my sanity. And then, you get me for a whole three months. And after that? Who knows? Let's just see if I can hold out for this ride first, shall we? Good. It's settled.