la fin, si bientôt || the end, so soon

I can't believe it. My first year of college has come to an end. I don't know the where the year has gone. Heh, come to think of it, where have the last ten gone? When I think ahead to three years from now... well, it's a scary thought. I don't know for certain where I'll be. I'm excited... nervous, a little anxious, naturally... but it's a good feeling, I think. I'm in a good place. That I can be certain of.

This place... this... what I've found. There aren't words for it, not really. Not that could so justice anyways. And when I'm at a loss for words, then, you know it's gotta be something incredible. And it is.

I sit here at 3:12am at my computer. I look around this 15'5" x 10'2" space that has served as "home" for the past nine months. Wow... nine months. I never thought something could sound like such a long time and such a short time... at the same time. By this time tomorrow, I'll be here for a final few hours, maybe sleeping, maybe sitting right here again, who knows really... before I head back home for three months.

This week has had a lot of mixed emotions. I blame final exams. I spent all week in the library from 8pm-7am studying. That'll get to you after awhile. The past two days it really got to me. By Wednesday at 5am I was having a mid-life crisis at age 18... yeah, not cool, I know. But it's all ok now. I just needed to relieve some stress, some anxieties. When I came home from the library at 5am yesterday morning after studying, I felt it. That familiar surge of excitement at what lies ahead, knowing that I've come so far. And there's still so much more to go... but if I survive this, then, surely I can handle what lies ahead?

Last week, I didn't want to go back home. It's so boring back there, and I like my freedom here. And... I love the people here. Don't get me wrong, I love the people back home... I just... feel like I'm missing out on so much this summer by not being here. Halfway through this week, I was driven near insanity by school and was pleading to go home early. But that passed.... and now, I'm not wanting to leave again. This place has done so much for me and leaving it is like leaving a piece of me. And for those I've met who are leaving, to go on to bigger better things... they have left a piece of themselves with me. And I will continue to cherish that for the rest of my life.

So, as I spend my final day here tomorrow, saying my goodbyes for the summer... I will cherish every moment. Because these moments go by so fast... and if you don't savor every minute of it, you'll miss out. And what a great thing I would be missing out on if I did.

To the people I have formed a bond with this year, I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors, and although I haven't always said it, I love you guys and will miss you greatly. Congratulations... and thank you.